At long last, the much maligned final Star Trek TNG movie.
Rather than write a normal review this time, I thought that I’d go for a more scientific process. Here’s the minute-by-minute ‘worm’, tracking how much I ‘liked’ this film.
There are some good moments, but it’s all undermined by the main protagonist character. I really don’t know what they were thinking.
And here’s the play-by-play:
0:00 That music is Vangelis, not Star Trek
0:01 Stupid backwards R
0:03 Trade Negotiations – worked for Phantom Menace…
0:05 Yay for Wesley in the corner there.
0:07 Worf doesn’t know Romulan Ale is illegal.
0:08 Data is singing. Please kill me.
0:09 Pretty ship
0:10 “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be in the gym” – OK, pretty funny.
0:13 Star Trek Off Roading????
0:16 No one’s mentioned Lore yet? (Or ever, in the entire course of the movie)
Worf remembers his rifle this time just in time for the attack?
Oh god, it’s a Star trek car chase
This looks like it was designed to be a video game level
0:20 Fine, make fun of the beards. But Geordi has one too, dammit!
0:21 Janeway, yay!
0:25 So far B4 is a drag on this movie
0:30 ‘May I touch your hair’???
0:33 A Clone? This is getting pretty stupid.
0:35 God the stupid Reman costumes are killing me.
0:38 B4 is in the Matrix now?
0:48 Now there’s a gratuitous sex scene? OK, but it turned creepy fast.
0:56 That was some smart stuff from Data and Picard there.
0:59 ‘Encrypted system’ – you mean a password?
1:01 Another level from the video game, driving the fighter through the ship.
1:03 ‘Temporal RNA’ technobabble crap.
1:07 A decent threat to motivate the movie. Eventually.
1:19 ‘Keep our bow on the scimitar’ but ship does a U-turn.. Twice.
1:25 Internal shields? Biosensors? Anything better than just wandering around the Jeffris Tubes?? Call for backup, even.
1:27 And that is why you don’t put a bridge on top of the ship.
1:28 At least we didn’t call it ramming speed.
1:31 I hope Picard got the Collision Damage Waiver.
1:32 Even an atuodestruct…
1:35 Ship is dead in space, and Data hands over command to the counsellor? WTF?
1:37 Here’s Jean-y.
1:39, Ah, the old ‘stab em with a pipe.
1:41 Not thrilled to see Data dead, but it’s a relatively ‘earned’ sacrifice.. And a sense of grief.
1:44 Chateau Picard wine too…
1:45 Why is the film not done?
1:47 Seriously, still not done?
1:48, Oh, there’s the reset button on Data. Way to undermine your work.
1:49 Finally, we’re done
675 down, 62 to go.